So You Think You Can Eridan?

[Debbie Does Dallas]

ALRIGHT. SOME OF YOU might have seen my Crash Course On How To Play Eridan post in the chp tag a while ago. This is essentially that. But!!! With more depth on Eridan's character, woohoo. Because, as I have made it known, I live for an epic IC portrayal of Eridan Ampora. I love him. I would marry this son of a fish bitch.
He is my favorite character.

ANYWAYS

SO YOU WANT TO RP ERIDAN AMPORA? 

Great! I love Eridan. You probably love Eridan too. We're like two peas in a pod, my friend. A match made in Ampora heaven.

I wanna HELP YOU OUT.

Let's get down to the basics. If you want to RP Eridan, you gotta really remember all of Eridan's key character points. It can be really easy to get caught up in fanon!Eridan and all of his tropes, so first I'm going to list some of the most obvious mistakes people make when writing for our condescending self-proclaimed sea prince.

• Eridan being only interested in quadrants (please, gag me. twice)
  
• Eridan being capable of showing normal standards of romantic affection
  
• Eridan blaming Sollux and Feferi's relationship on why everything went to shit (gag me again)
  
• “Wweh” and “Nyeh” and “Cod” (stop!!!!!!!)
  
• Eridan using fish puns (ALSO STOP!)
  
• Eridan being a big emotional sandbag (well, okay, he's really emotional and dramatic, but we'll get into this part later)
  
• Eridan being a crybaby uguu child
  

Those are just the most common things I see in fanon!Eridan when people write for/RP him.

Now, Eridan, at his core, is built around requiring validation and relationships with other characters.

First of all, it's good to keep in mind that although Eridan has been shown to be heavily invested in surrounding himself with quadrant space, it's not ALL he thinks about, despite being what he NEEDS. At one point Eridan had 3 quadrants successfully filled, and it can be assumed that his relationships were all stable before, you know, things happened in the comic and eventually they weren't.
Most likely due to Eridan's own instability to maintain a healthy relationship.

Things I absolutely hate seeing: “You're coming on pretty strong there.” and “Are you insinuating something?” like, 5 seconds into an exchange of dialogue.

Like, okay, we get it. Eridan has been known to turn an argument on its head and completely flip the meaning of it to make everybody within a 10 meter radius uncomfortable. But please, there's so much more to his argumentative skills than falling back on petty, greedy little one-liners like this. Grabs the reigns, I'm gonna teach you how to ride this bad boy.

Unless you and your RP partner are gearing up for some OTP shenanigans, there's really a lot more you can say! Really captivate the amount of “I don't give a shit” and “You should want me so I'm going to keep instigating things with you” that Eridan seems to permeate. Eridan is known for being extremely aggressive in his courtship - to a fault. When the guy has his sights set on somebody, he does EVERYTHING for them. Whether that be getting an Auspistice, or devoting his adolescence to them. But when he's done? HE'S DONE!!! A great example of that is his final falling out with Feferi when she accused him of attempting to drag her into mediating between him and Sollux.

Which he denied doing and repeatedly told Feferi to her face that he was over her.







He did, however, openly request TEREZI to auspitize between him and Sollux. Eridan has no reason to beat around the bush. We all know that he is a straight forward character who immediately lets his plans be known to everybody and their fucking lusus. Guy even leaves his planet of festering angel demon shit to go duel with Sollux. It wasn't a secret!








“But David, I want to RP some redrom with Eridan!”

And that's great!

BUT BOY do I have news for you. This guy is so fucking bad at displaying even the slightest hint of ruby colored affections that his approaches probably seem crude and mistaken for black. And no, this isn't just some “tsundere” anime-trope here. It's literally in his chumhandle, “caligulas.”

Eridan has extreme difficulty in conveying romantic interest, both pale and crimson. He's not some kind of suave, Princely douche lord. He wouldn't bring you tea in the mornings or wrap you in blankets and kiss your nose just because he was feeling mushy.
He'd probably serve you up a cup of coffee and tell you to make your own plate of pancakes because he doesn't want to cater to your ass and it was already time consuming enough to make his own breakfast, why the FUCK would he want to make your plate too?
He's so entitled, he thinks he does ENOUGH!

He can't do anything without being rude about it. If somebody bats their eyes at him he'd probably ask if they have conjunctivitis and then tell them to stay within arms length so that he doesn't catch it. Somebody hitting on Eridan? What?? He just doesn't get it!

For valentines day he buys a box of chocolates and tells y/c not to choke on them when they're stuffing their face hole with caramel.

This isn't to say that the son of a bitch is incapable of having a person in his romantic and platonic quadrants, though.
Like, it's YOUR roleplay, do whatever you want!!!! But you came here to read about canon-esque Eridan, so that's what I'm cookin' up here for you.

Eridan is the kind of person who requires a CHALLENGE. Somebody to rival his absolutely shitty attitude. Example: Karkat conceding to fill in for Eridan as his moirail if things ever went bad. The two, despite people not remembering, had a stable friendship and Karkat was one of the few people who was able to actually talk to Eridan and put up with his garbage.
There were a ton of instances in comic, especially Alterniabound and Kanaya: Return To The Core, where Karkat consistently attempts to simmer down the boiling pot that is Eridan Ampora. Keeps him in check (or tries to).

Would he be a good moirail or matesprit? We just don't know. From what we've seen, not really, unless he has somebody to compliment his persons! Eridan isn't completely uncaring. He's not a MACHINE made for only hating things. But his examples of doing so are far and few. He only seems to care when it's about himself or a person he considers himself close to, but even then he tries to impose what he feels is the other persons best interests are on them, regardless of how they feel about it. Which is slightly reminiscent of our other Prince, right? Right.

NOW THAT WE HAVE ALL OF THIS OUT OF THE WAY, LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS!

CAPTURING ERIDAN'S PERSONALITY 

The best way for me to describe his personality is “elegantly violent”. He’s stuck up. Dignified, royal, but also fucking destructive. It’s in his fucking class for Pete’s sake. He's also a huge JERK. One thing I like to tell people is, don’t RP him being “nice”! Just don’t! Occasionally considerate of others is more accurate, But nice? Nah. Not nice. Although he does have manners where it counts. For instance, his gratefulness towards Kanaya in K:RTTC, where he thanked her and was appreciative of her having faith in him. This was immediately followed up by him asking about the Matriorb and demanding for Kanaya to wait for him before incubating the egg. Not because he wanted to help, but because he felt it was his right as royalty to oversee the re-population of their race. Don't forget that his JOB was to secure the survival of trolls back on Alternia by feeding Gl'bgolyb.

He takes himself and situations very seriously. Like, way too seriously sometimes. In his conversation with Feferi when she broke up with him, he stopped using his typing quirk just to show her HOW SERIOUS he really was.




He's ridiculous. A total drama queen!

And this makes it a perfect basis for how his speaking patterns go, too.

He's got an incredible vocabulary. Eridan is poetic, DRAMATICALLY poetic! Here's a snippet from Chairubplay's Character Voice thread that I wrote as an example of how you can make him sound just as wordy and ridiculous as you need to:

Like, this is pretty alright

The puppet master could play his heartstrings like a fiddle, and the song of love that stems from it would fall upon the ears of bystanders, warm like the glow from a firefly’s light.

but to get really into Eridan's over-dramaticness you gotta go the extra mile. he's so extra!!!

A marionette master could play the threads tethered to the edges of his time ticker, standing tall on the grand amphitheater stage while waving the pernambuco wand he wields. The symphonic composition of romance that births from the tremors of his strings would resonate into the undeserving audience and brush their auditory receivers like a subtle warmth from the luminescent syrups of a bulb beetles thorax.

shut up, eridan!!!!!!

Honestly, just make everything he COULD say into something long winded and annoyingly descriptive. He’s creative. He wouldn’t just say “asshole” to insult somebody (most of the time). Here are some examples of more things I'VE written as Eridan while partaking in some banter with other RPers:

• CA: the cape isnt just for fuckin looks you chartreuse crusted bug eyed ship hag
  CA: your bellicose persons an i both knoww its because its a symbol wworn by the surliest a orphaners
  

• CA: you wwouldnt knoww funny if it came outta the navvy fluids in your fortune guessin ball an took your other eye out
  
  

• CA: i dont need people thinkin ivve got black wwater arachnid sirens comin after my obsidian one fourths
  CA: your wwaxin is about as desirable as the crusty rock lumps on the hide of a sky wwhales globesack
  

• CA: its a figure a speech unhook your pincer horn from around your small intestinal tube an pull your head out a your wwaste chute
  

• “As if I wanted my name drippin’ off a’ that peasantated mouth muscle you use to lick the fuckin’ sleaze ridden ground I walk over, Sol. You an’ your convoluted bunch a’ fake mage rubbish doesn’t deserve to set even a toe into my line a’ vision, an’ honestly it feels like a real Goddamned retinal dysfunction to even look at you, let alone hear the black board scrapin’ sound a’ your lisp.”
  

• CA: look wwho decided to crawwl outta the fuckin gutters today its the devviated vvomit blood himself
  

• “My accent mimics only the most majestic fuckin’ melodies that come out a’ the ocean, which you conveniently coincide with forgettin’ is where your superior sea dwellin’ rulers reside under, you piss poor excuse for a finless, land humpin’ neanderthal. Your fuckin’ speech impediment seems to stem from the fact that the gnarly lookin’ cavern in the center a’ your face looks like it’s been through more than a few rounds with the better end of a weed whacker.”
  

It's really not that hard once you break it down. Here's a process of how you can come up with something ERIDAN WORTHY of a phrase. Take an insult, or a description. Take a character. You wanna call Tavros some mean names? Let’s call Tavros something mean (sorry Tavy baby).

What are some words we can use synonymously with him? Brown blood. Big horns. Uneven fangs. Bound to a wheelchair OR has robot legs. Things we know: he has a windmill on his hive. A barn, possibly? Plays Fiduspawn. Has a Pupa Pan costume. These are kind of insignificant, but dire to forming any phrase that fits Ampora standards.

Let’s call Tavros “a guy who idolizes some fake asshole in green short shorts”. Sounds good. But Eridan is long winded. So first, describe Tavros in this.


“a dirt blooded farm boy who idolizes some fake asshole wearing green short shorts” Good! Buuuut, that’s not really good enough. Describe Pupa Pan more, put in some words that are totally unnecessary to paint a picture of those daisy dukes.

“a dirt blooded farm boy who idolizes some fictitious asshole donnin’ a pair of emerald colored globe huggers” You’re getting there! This could still look better, if you want to go the whole 9 yards. Because, as we established, Eridan is extra as fuck.

“a dirt blooded farm boy with a propeller stuck to his hive that worships some fictitious fake-magic asshat donnin’ a pair of emerald colored globe huggers.”

Congratulations, you are now one step closer to using Eridan’s vocabulary and speaking patterns a bit better!



(me playing Eridan while on the canon handle for Pesterchum)

INCORPORATING ERIDAN'S PERSONALITY IN YOUR WRITING! 

This is probably the hardest part for some people, but I have an easy solution for anybody who has issues trying to get across Eridan's attitude accurately. You know Smaug, yeah? Everybody knows Smaug. Conceited, full of himself, hoards his treasures, thinks he's such hot shit, speaks in poetic prose about himself and his enemies. Bumblebee Combatant.










Smaug.




Just, try to picture this guy. Right here.

You may be asking: David, why the fuck would we ever compare Eridan Ampora to a self obsessed, harbinger of destruction, DRAGON from Lord Of The Rings?

Well, you pretty much answered your own question right there.

Most of the trolls his age were already three squared under the dirt, and none of these freshly pupated wrigglers had the gal enough to come forth and take a seasoned warrior's challenge. Not that he'd even been worried about someone attempting to usurp his position at the top of the dysfunctional totem pole. Eridan was a winner. And what did winners do? They WON, that's what. By any means necessary.

A messy endeavor, it was. Eridan could manage some how to deliver the body parts to Feferi's horrendously disfigured, ugly, misshapen horror terror at the bottom of Alternia's depths. Had he been looking forward to it? Not entirely. It was an exhausting job, but somebody had to do it, and that somebody was Eridan “Orphaner” Ampora. Yeah, that had a nice ring to it. Completely unlike the awful noise that would erupt from the ticking time bomb at the base of the ocean if he couldn't acquire food for it. Y'know, you'd think with all of its fucking tentacles the awful thing would be able to fetch gruel for itself to consume, but no. He was imprisoned with catering to the useless lump of flaccid hiss dicks so that he could live to breathe the putrid, polluted, land dweller atmosphere another day. These bastards owed him their lives and yet they couldn't be bothered to repay their respected rulers by keeping this diminishing, unappealing /rock/ at least /somewhat/ co-habitable.

Fef would have told him he was too sensitive. Eridan would have claimed this was a vendetta. The earths would tremble under the stampeding armies of Eridan's wrath-born retribution. Land dwellers would beg for Gl'bgolyb to take mercy on their corporal forms and release them from the harrowing demise that Dualscar's descendant would thrust upon them for their ungratefulness of the time gifted to them by his own two hands. Flashing coryphees from the sky would strike the waters beneath his warship while it breached the shores, and all would be doomed to death.

Obsessed with his garnished appearance. Treasures (various kinds, he's got gold CLUTTERING his room). Entitled. Constantly reminds people of how much better he is simply by social status and how he could easily obliterate them if he wanted to. Wordy. VERY WORDY. Wizards? MAGICKS?! (GANDALF!!!)



A seeker of knowledge, seeker of treasure, self-proclaimed eliminator of a species.

A watered down (HA, I'm funny) version of Smaug. Why does the analogy even work, you ask??? Eridan isn't related to dragons, that's Terezi's thing, you say??
How could I POSSIBLY make this work, you think?

In some popular fiction, the seahorse is referred to as a dragon. A couple instances:




And a bigger list of works including the two above where seahorses are generally categorized as dragons, as well as an explanation for the reasoning. There's also a species of seahorse called a Seadragon.

So, you could totally reach for straws here and pull some bogus reason out of your ass like I have to relate Eridan's characterization to an infantized, bitchier version Smaug. There aren't actually a lot of logs for Eridan, and some of his greatest/most important ones are within walk-around flashes. It helps with getting a good reference to his character since Eridan lacks a bunch of them! Just act like you're writing the most self absorbed piece of work you ever have in your entire life. Make him look down on everybody underneath him, like ants under his gaudy feet.

Ahab's barrel glowed brightly, light reflecting off of dampened grass, painted a shade of hemo that didn't deserve to touch even the soles of Eridan's shoes - which already pushed the boundaries of acceptable complimentaries with that berylish streak that ran down the throat of each boot.

He is one of the WORST characters. A villain! He is truly, truly a villain, down to his very core!!! And yet, his priorities are so out of whack, it's ridiculous. Guy wants doomsday devices and then sabotages himself because he doesn't want to upset/kill his friends or quadrantmates.





Absolutely ridiculous. Seriously.

FINAL THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND ABOUT ERIDAN FUCKING AMPORA

He hates fish puns. Please, stop using them.

---

I'll probably add more to this later and spruce it up more, but I am so done with writing it right now and honestly it's messier than I had intended it to be lol. 

Peace out, cool kids. I hope some of you found this useful.

All quotes that are not canon-screencaps are from things I've written.

As a parting note, allow me to share one of my FAVORITE scenes for this moron.






GOD.

[mogseltof]

beautiful

[Debbie Does Dallas]

i love this train wreck of a sea dweller so much,,

[livvykitty]

I have a question!

Ok, so in this one rp I'm playing Eridan as a general in the army (still a troll, second in command, ruling class of LoWaA, etc etc etc) and I'm not going to really get into his character until late into Act 2 of the rp (we really planned this thing out). The little bit I've portrayed him, he's ruthless and literally killed a shit ton of humans while invading LoTaK and is of course planning the genocide of all land dwellers and all

Later on, he's supposed to have a redemption arc. How exactly would I capture him changing while remaining as ornery as he is throughout it all, even extremely more violent than in canon in the beginning? Should I even make him violent outside a life or death combat scenario??? Ahhhh I'm out of my league here yo

EDIT: I meant to ask how I might be able to have Eridan slowly mellow out over time from "even more destructive than canon I think" to "will fight someone and kill but not openly burn a village and salt the ducking earth"

[Debbie Does Dallas]

Apr 29, 2016 15:42:13 GMT livvykitty said:

I have a question!

Ok, so in this one rp I'm playing Eridan as a general in the army (still a troll, second in command, ruling class of LoWaA, etc etc etc) and I'm not going to really get into his character until late into Act 2 of the rp (we really planned this thing out). The little bit I've portrayed him, he's ruthless and literally killed a shit ton of humans while invading LoTaK and is of course planning the genocide of all land dwellers and all

Later on, he's supposed to have a redemption arc. How exactly would I capture him changing while remaining as ornery as he is throughout it all, even extremely more violent than in canon in the beginning? Should I even make him violent outside a life or death combat scenario??? Ahhhh I'm out of my league here yo

In canon, Eridan didn't see the error of his ways until he was sawed in half by Kanaya and thrust into sharing thinking space with Solluxes apathetic nature.

ERISOLSPRITE: anywway ii gue22 iivve been wwantiing twwo 2ay.
ERISOLSPRITE: part of me ii2 2orry for kiilliing part of you.
ERISOLSPRITE: ii mean that not a2 the part a me that u2ed twwo be your mate2priit cau2e OBVVIIOU2LY that part wwa2nt re2pon2iible for that 2curriilou2 2hiit.
ERISOLSPRITE: but the part of me that u2ed twwo be moraiil2 wwiith part a you.
ERISOLSPRITE: and wwhereiin nepeta ii2 ju2t kiind of a wweiirdly unrelated by2tander iin thii2 wwhole me22?
ERISOLSPRITE: 2o ii gue22 the wwhole me ii2 2orry twwo nepeta for havviin twwo put up wwiith thii2 2hiitty lovve triiangle fallout.
ERISOLSPRITE: AUGH thii2 ii2 ab2olutely the 2HIITTIIE2T apology 2iituatiion ii can evven FUCKIING fathom.
ERISOLSPRITE: cant evven get 2ome legiitiimate feeliin2 of remor2e off my che2t cau2e the che2t ha2 contradiictory feeliin2 a twwo people and the reciipiient ii2 the amalgamatiion of the wwronged party and 2omebody wwho could not giivve a bloody 2hiittiing FUCK about any a thii2.
ERISOLSPRITE: nevver miind thii2 reconciiliiatiion ha2 been an ab2olute dii2a2ter.

Eridan didn't necessarily like what he had to do in the comic, and often times tried to ruin his own plans by proxy of getting somebody else to "make him" ruin them.

He still retained his personality even after this whole thing, and treated people the same way. Its hard to come up with a "redemption" arc for somebody when they lack a likable personality, or really any bedside manners. I imagine Eridan would simply give up his ambitions for genocide and look into pursuing something else, while still holding a bitterness for human or land dwelling kind until he's grown older and has had time to readjust his ways of thinking. He's pretty much a bigot.

His friends all essentially put up with his remarks against finless heathens because they don't bother themselves with his drama or ignorance. A near death experience or a hard beverage labeled reality would do well in forming some kind of redemption arc for his character! His personality doesn't have to change, though. And as a high blood, it's completely viable to keep him violent by nature. Providing an outlet for his destructive tendencies would be a good option to consider when forming a plot where he eventually drops the evil bad guy shtick and reconsiders his life choices.

[syeburn]

this inspires me to make my own guide for rose once i become an expert

[Debbie Does Dallas]

Apr 29, 2016 16:36:46 GMT syeburn said:

this inspires me to make my own guide for rose once i become an expert

the world needs more rose guides...

[Ethan]

jfc eridan's color is hard to read against dark backgrounds i think my eyes are plotting murder

bless tho, you are best eridan ?

[Debbie Does Dallas]

Apr 29, 2016 22:14:40 GMT Ethan said:

jfc eridan's color is hard to read against dark backgrounds i think my eyes are plotting murder

bless tho, you are best eridan ?

Im using Cherubgray so i hadnt even noticed!!! Maybe i should set it to something a little darker

Also ty v much

[Ethan]

Apr 29, 2016 22:23:19 GMT Debbie Does Dallas said:

Im using Cherubgray so i hadnt even noticed!!!

is that a thing?? how do you change it bc the green will be my death

(also u r welc!!)

[Debbie Does Dallas]

Apr 29, 2016 23:30:35 GMT Ethan said:

Apr 29, 2016 22:23:19 GMT Debbie Does Dallas said:

Im using Cherubgray so i hadnt even noticed!!!

is that a thing?? how do you change it bc the green will be my death

(also u r welc!!)

ahahaha yeah!!!

just go to your profie, then edit profile, settings, and it's there! like so

[Ethan]

!!!!!!!! you're magic? thank u sm

[karkata]

this is the best eridan guide i've seen, like, ever.  it's a worthwhile read even if you're not gonna rp him imo, this is awesome!!


(do you mind if perhaps eventually i did something like this for karkat?)

[Debbie Does Dallas]

May 2, 2016 12:14:26 GMT karkata said:

this is the best eridan guide i've seen, like, ever.  it's a worthwhile read even if you're not gonna rp him imo, this is awesome!!


(do you mind if perhaps eventually i did something like this for karkat?)

thanks!!

and omg, why would i mind lol guides are free for anybody to make if you wanna use my messy layout as reference then go for it friend