Time's Up?

[royalstarsight]

there's this ongoing theme of impatience versus agony going on all over, i think, and i have another double-thought about it.

lots of people seem to be d/c'd on for things like taking "a long time" to reply, be it 10 minutes or 10 days. most people are irate about this act and point to the fact that people DO have a life outside of roleplaying and that you're likely NOT the only prompt they've got.

but i also want to point out that for some people, they only take one prompt at a time, and especially in ooc/planning stages they expect responses to be consistent and present. they may not even conceptualize that you're doing anything but staring at their screen. that's dumb, but also...valid, when you consider that they don't know anything about juggling multiple prompts.

and furthermore, some people don't know what time frame to expect from you. usually, when i want to roleplay, i want to roleplay NOW, and not an hour or two or a day from when i connect to a prompt or someone connects to mine. if it takes my partner an hour to respond to one ooc post, i can tell that their attention is divided in a way mine is not, and i want things to go faster than that, so i disconnect. sometimes, i'll wait a day and bump the chat because i'm the type of roleplayer who responds multiple times in a day, and i don't know if i should expect that from my partner or not.

i dont think there's a magical time to bump a chat. i think ten minutes can be too soon, i think ten hours can, i think ten days can. but i think the most important thing to remember is to fucking ask your partner what the rate of response is, or just point out how often you will be able to post. everyone's different. i personally hate waiting ten days for a single response. i want my roleplays to go faster than that, have more activity. but some people are outraged at thinking that i'm impatiently tapping my foot after less than two weeks of silence because "i have a life you know!!!" so do i. but we all have different rates of response and it's important to figure that out ahead of time so there's no msigivings.

[Dave Strider]

Your points make a lot of sense.

I kinda want to say, roleplaying shouldn't be something selfish, considering it takes two to make a roleplay (or more, but you get what I'm saying). It's important to communicate, and take into account your partner, the way they think, the timeframe in which they are available.

But let's face it, as roleplayers, we ARE selfish. We mostly want our plots to keep going and develop, we want things to go the way we imagined them.

It's half past midnight and I'm trying to make some wisdom but I feel like I'm failing horribly.

[hanka]

royalstarsight said:

the i have another double-thought about it.

what does this mean.

royalstarsight said:

lots of people seem to be d/c'd on for things like taking "a long time" to reply, be it 10 minutes or 10 days. most people are irate about this act and point to the fact that people DO have a life outside of roleplaying and that you're likely NOT the only prompt they've got.

i mean, i know from tag discussion that most users are way more likely to disconnect over personality clash, autoing, shitty writing, smut hunting... etc.

royalstarsight said:

they expect responses to be consistent and present. they may not even conceptualize that you're doing anything but staring at their screen. that's dumb, but also...valid, when you consider that they don't know anything about juggling multiple prompts.

that sounds a lot like Their Goddamn Problem, though. i shouldn't have to give you an hourly schedule or an expense report if you take my prompt or if i take yours. if i'm taking too long, sure, go ahead and disconnect. what i object to is...

royalstarsight said:

i want to roleplay NOW

this bratty, entitled attitude. disconnect, but don't storm into the forums like a whiny baby because people aren't moving fast enough for you, veruca salt.

[Chairubplay]

At the end of the day, your personal standards for a roleplay aren't always going to coincide with what your partner feels is appropriate, whether you're fast-paced or like to take your time. What's important is to consider whether the roleplay in question is worth it and whether you and your partner can both be conscious and respectful of your differing preferences, whether that's involving response time or headcanons or length, any topic under the sun. Either you come to a compromise or you find somebody that better suits your needs, but in any case, communication is key.

[royalstarsight]

hanka
dude, i'm not trying to be as hostile as you're making me sound? i'm saying that for everyone, there's a different preference on speed of roleplay, and i personally only go on cherubplay in the few free hours i have per day, and when i am there, i want to roleplay lots! i don't have patience to take or make a prompt and spend all of my time waiting for an answer. i often take multiple connections for this reason, because i don't know my partner's rate of response yet, and hopefully having multiple answers will not only give me variety, but also give me more to do.

i think it's also important for me to mention that i'm a NAP user and literally almost never respond to NAPs, but make my own, instead. i'm not blindly connecting to other people's prompts 24/7 and expecting them to have the same frequency that i have.

you're wildly overdoing everything i've said. i'm not asking for an hourly expense report or schedule, nobody is.

i'm not whining about anything? i'm bringing up a discussion. i made a forum topic that talked in two ways about disconnection discourse, that's why i said "another double-thought".

don't paint me like a brat when i'm literally using the forums for discussion just like they were made to be. i'm not pissed off or hostile, and you coming in here to call me names and shit is really fucking rude to begin with? what the hell, man.

edit: also this category is literally called rant and salt. what did you expect. 

[royalstarsight]

Apr 21, 2016 22:34:21 GMT Chairubplay said:

At the end of the day, your personal standards for a roleplay aren't always going to coincide with what your partner feels is appropriate, whether you're fast-paced or like to take your time. What's important is to consider whether the roleplay in question is worth it and whether you and your partner can both be conscious and respectful of your differing preferences, whether that's involving response time or headcanons or length, any topic under the sun. Either you come to a compromise or you find somebody that better suits your needs, but in any case, communication is key.

thanks chair, that last line was exactly what i was trying to convey.

[Peridot]

Schedule clashes suck but they happen.
If anyone rushes me they get disconnected on. I work full time in health care and deal with dying people - sometimes I need to recover from that, not spend the last dregs of my energy replying to something (and then get whined at that it's sub par because I'm tired)

Ultimately - being impatient and demanding/expecting your rp partner to be there to respond immediately is not ok. Unless they have given you a rundown of their entire life within the first few minutes of connecting you don't know what's going on.

"I want it now" wont change that I'm afraid - I want my wage now but I need to wait another two weeks but at least I'm getting my new puppy early

If you disconnect on someone for not being able to respond within a handful of hours then please reflect on what you're being told - it's rude and makes people like me who work full time feel like crap that we're already tired, but we haven't tried hard enough to appease impatient people, and something we were enjoying has just been dumped because we weren't obedient reply-dogs.

If you still want to disconnect on people who may have more important things to do, like go to work, take care of family etc then I can't stop you, but just remember YOU are not the only person involved in that rolepay and Cherubplay doesn't revolve around you.

(this is a general note - kinda hijacked your topic there oops, but still, point stands)

[Chairubplay]

hanka royalstarsight

Alright, I'm going to ask for the both of you to please simmer down and take a moment before continuing this discussion. Either of you are welcome to talk to me privately to resolve any disagreement, but for now, let's not clutter up the thread with an argument.

Are we agreed?

[hanka]

lmfao chill out all i did was quote you. directly. you're the one that said, in these exact words, "i want to roleplay NOW." no one held a gun to your head and made you say that. if you can't handle being disagreed with in the 'rant' section of a forum, maybe it's not the site for you. there's even a little panic button in your settings if the pressure gets to be too much.  (don't be like that)



edit: ninja'd! damn it. you're too quick. k, i'm outtie.

[royalstarsight]

Apr 21, 2016 22:45:28 GMT Peridot said:

Schedule clashes suck but they happen.
If anyone rushes me they get disconnected on. I work full time in health care and deal with dying people - sometimes I need to recover from that, not spend the last dregs of my energy replying to something (and then get whined at that it's sub par because I'm tired)

Ultimately - being impatient and demanding/expecting your rp partner to be there to respond immediately is not ok. Unless they have given you a rundown of their entire life within the first few minutes of connecting you don't know what's going on.

"I want it now" wont change that I'm afraid - I want my wage now but I need to wait another two weeks but at least I'm getting my new puppy early

If you disconnect on someone for not being able to respond within a handful of hours then please reflect on what you're being told - it's rude and makes people like me who work full time feel like crap that we're already tired, but we haven't tried hard enough to appease impatient people, and something we were enjoying has just been dumped because we weren't obedient reply-dogs.

If you still want to disconnect on people who may have more important things to do, like go to work, take care of family etc then I can't stop you, but just remember YOU are not the only person involved in that rolepay and Cherubplay doesn't revolve around you.

(this is a general note - kinda hijacked your topic there oops, but still, point stands)

you sound like you deal with a lot of tough stuff, and for that i've gotta say kudos. health care jobs are really stressful and intense, i have many family members in that profession and i seriously can't imagine how anyone does it. i do have a job, and it does exhaust me, and there are full days i just don't go on cherubplay, so it's not like i'm completely blind to the idea that life comes before roleplaying. 

i'm not trying to apply my personal desires to a blanket statement. i'm not saying everyone should be a "reply dog" or a machine that cranks out entertainment for me 24/7. i'm trying to say that if two people's schedules and desires don't line up, they shouldn't be a dick about it, and they shouldn't string anyone along or harass anyone into doing anything they don't want to do. but i personally don't feel that it's a terrible decision to disconnect based on a mismatched aspect of the activity, be it reply time or headcanon clashing. 

in many of my NAPs i'll note that i'm looking for people who are "online and active" so that i can get the most out of my experience. for a while i got lots of connections with people reserving my prompt to "get to it in the morning after sleep", but i was looking for an activity to do right then and there, not 8+ hours from now, when i would be at work, or asleep myself.

in my "disconnect out of impatience" idea, i don't leave long-running or involved roleplays just because i post at a faster rate than they do. fifty longwinded posts of development and interaction aren't getting flushed because they've not replied in a day or two when they used to reply multiple times a day. usually the leaving is done very early on, as soon as three or four posts in, when it becomes clear that everything is moving too slowly for me to be consistently invested. if i'm attached, i'm attached, regardless of the pace.

[Peridot]

Apr 21, 2016 22:55:30 GMT royalstarsight said:

Apr 21, 2016 22:45:28 GMT Peridot said:

Schedule clashes suck but they happen.
If anyone rushes me they get disconnected on. I work full time in health care and deal with dying people - sometimes I need to recover from that, not spend the last dregs of my energy replying to something (and then get whined at that it's sub par because I'm tired)

Ultimately - being impatient and demanding/expecting your rp partner to be there to respond immediately is not ok. Unless they have given you a rundown of their entire life within the first few minutes of connecting you don't know what's going on.

"I want it now" wont change that I'm afraid - I want my wage now but I need to wait another two weeks but at least I'm getting my new puppy early

If you disconnect on someone for not being able to respond within a handful of hours then please reflect on what you're being told - it's rude and makes people like me who work full time feel like crap that we're already tired, but we haven't tried hard enough to appease impatient people, and something we were enjoying has just been dumped because we weren't obedient reply-dogs.

If you still want to disconnect on people who may have more important things to do, like go to work, take care of family etc then I can't stop you, but just remember YOU are not the only person involved in that rolepay and Cherubplay doesn't revolve around you.

(this is a general note - kinda hijacked your topic there oops, but still, point stands)

you sound like you deal with a lot of tough stuff, and for that i've gotta say kudos. health care jobs are really stressful and intense, i have many family members in that profession and i seriously can't imagine how anyone does it. i do have a job, and it does exhaust me, and there are full days i just don't go on cherubplay, so it's not like i'm completely blind to the idea that life comes before roleplaying. 

i'm not trying to apply my personal desires to a blanket statement. i'm not saying everyone should be a "reply dog" or a machine that cranks out entertainment for me 24/7. i'm trying to say that if two people's schedules and desires don't line up, they shouldn't be a dick about it, and they shouldn't string anyone along or harass anyone into doing anything they don't want to do. but i personally don't feel that it's a terrible decision to disconnect based on a mismatched aspect of the activity, be it reply time or headcanon clashing. 

in many of my NAPs i'll note that i'm looking for people who are "online and active" so that i can get the most out of my experience. for a while i got lots of connections with people reserving my prompt to "get to it in the morning after sleep", but i was looking for an activity to do right then and there, not 8+ hours from now, when i would be at work, or asleep myself.

in my "disconnect out of impatience" idea, i don't leave long-running or involved roleplays just because i post at a faster rate than they do. fifty longwinded posts of development and interaction aren't getting flushed because they've not replied in a day or two when they used to reply multiple times a day. usually the leaving is done very early on, as soon as three or four posts in, when it becomes clear that everything is moving too slowly for me to be consistently invested. if i'm attached, i'm attached, regardless of the pace.

(it ended up a general PSA not entirely directed at you but I suppose I didn't get that across)

You also need to consider that things change - active now for you could be 8pm and for the other person 2am, but they are active and online right then for you and maybe a few hours after.

Internet can go down

Computers can break etc

situations change, disconnecting on someone after a couple of days silence is still a dick move. A week+ is more understandable, but "you didnt reply to me within 4 hours even though I said on my prompt I want to rp active and now" is incredibly childish. You can't expect another human being to not deal with real life issues while they have a chat open with you.

Just remember that the people on the other end of the chat are PEOPLE, and sometimes you HAVE to wait for things. It's not nice, no, but it will be better to get used to it now than later.

[royalstarsight]

@peridot
I see your point! And I appreciate your delivery of it. I don't think I'm communicating my point properly, because people keep bringing up that I'm silly to expect roleplaying to come before real life, and I don't. Not at all. I have my own life, I know what it is to have things just happen like that, and rping isn't the #1 priority for anyone I don't think.

Thanks for the discussion! These forums were a neat idea, and I wish you lots of luck with them.

[Peridot]

royalstarsight it may be a case of not being worded well then since it has very much come across as you complaining that people arent there to rp when you want them to, including the mention of you including wanting active and now

No problem - want me to remove the thread so you can reword it at a later date?

(also, to ping me you need to use @ admin (no space), Peridot is a display name ^^ you can see usernamed by visiting a profile, it's just under "send message")

[royalstarsight]

Peridot
gottcha, that makes more sense, haha.

and- no, it would feel like a cover-up or a sham sort of thing to make you delete this thread! i don't want anyone to think i'm backpedaling or embarrassed. i clearly just struggle to communicate my thoughts but that's not a new thing for me, so;;;

[Peridot]

royalstarsight

Alright - if you want it locked I can do that as well (so no more posting, so no more misunderstandings, and then it will just fall through the forums as other threads get replied to)